A Plea from a Desperate Citizen
October marked the beginning of cold and flu season. This is a particularly difficult time of year for a virus fearing, germ abhorring person such as myself. According to urbandictionary.com, a germaphobe is “any person who is obsessed with cleanliness and defeating bacteria. These individuals will turn on faucets with their elbows and hand sanitize on an hourly basis.” For several years now, I have been living with a painful secret, but I can no longer continue hiding who I really am- I am a germaphobe.
I haven’t been officially diagnosed but the signs and symptoms are there. When using school computers, I cover the mouse with a Kleenex, I refuse to share headphones or earbuds, I have a chronic fear of touching door handles, I always have a bottle of Purell in my bag and when someone sneezes within close proximity to me, I hold my breath and walk away faster than Snooki can apply self-tanner.
I’m writing this out of desperation. No matter how many bottles of Lysol or Purell I go through, I cannot eliminate every single germ nor completely rid surfaces of harmful bacteria. I cannot control who sneezes, who coughs, or who blows their nose. However, as collective individuals, we can.
The methods to improve our health conditions and the cleanliness of our surroundings aren’t difficult or even groundbreaking. Here’s what you do: when your lungs heave and your chest convulses involuntarily, or when your nose feels the need to spew clouds of vapourized mucus, raise your arm and cover the offending orifice with your elbow. For bonus points, you can even wash and sanitize your hands afterwards.
Please, please, please, cover your mouth or your nose when you cough or sneeze. Neither I nor anyone else wants to walk througha haze of your snot. That’s just gross.