The Thing
The Thing, like it’s titular interstellar bugaboo, likes to disguise as something other than what it really is. Which is to say, a remake and not a prequel as it would have you believe. The Thing’s first outing in 1982 starred Kurt Russell and followed a group of Antarctic researchers terrorized by a shapeshifting alien that had already wiped out a second camp of Norwegian researchers. The new Thing rewinds to take a look at what happened in this first camp, gory bits and all.
Stepping into Kurt Russell’s shoes is modern day Scream Queen Mary Elizabeth Winstead. She plays paleontologist Kate Lloyd, who is invited to participate in a mysterious sub-Arctic dig at a remote camp by creepy benefactor Dr. Halverson (Eric Christian Olsen). Upon arriving Kate learns that the artifacts primed for excavation are a massive spaceship and it’s equally imposing occupant, a formless alien trapped in the ice. The dig goes smoothly enough but after the creature is transported back to camp it breaks free of the ice and attempts to escape to civilisation. The team subdues it, but discovers it can change form at will, leading them to suspect each other of being the Thing in disguise as the monster continues to pick them off one by one.
To say the film cribs a few notes from the original would be an understatement. Recycling characters (Joel Edgerton’s gruff, beaded helicopter pilot is a Russell standin), situations (improvised tests to tell who is and isn’t the Thing) and a few bad habits (the confusing way characters duck in and out of the plot) from the original, the one real change anyone already familiar with Carpenter’s version of the film will notice is the choice to use CGI for the creature effects. While still scary in their own right the new monsters are a far cry from the gooey, writhing props made up by effects guru Stan Winston for the first film.
And while first time director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. (say that three times fast,) works in some effective jump scares to rival the first film’s, I can’t help but feel an important part of the plot has been fumbled. As in the original, the scientists divise a test to determine who might be the creature but it’s so ill-conceived that even one of the characters can’t help but pick holes in it. Though further Red Herrings get things back on track the film’s ending echoes the preposterous test scene and puts a damper on what was a genuinely cool finish.
Despite (or perhaps wisely) sticking close to the original film, The Thing’s is a lot like driving to the cottage through a construction zone. You know where you’ll end up but there will be a few unexpected twists and turns on the way. And intergalactic man-eating terrors. But maybe that’s just my cottage.
***/5